Maitre d' in an expensive resort: "Will you be having diner with us tonight?"
My wife: "Yes, could we make a reservation for 7 on the terrace?"
M: "Yes. There is also space inside."
W: "We'd like to dine on the terrace."
M: "Or we could set a table at the fireplace."
W: "No, we'd like to eat outside."
M: "We can also arrange a private room for you."
W: "No, thank you, we prefer eating outside."
M: "Where would you like to eat?"
The attentive reader may be able to guess the response.
Another one, another night, same place:
Me, walking in around dinner time: "Could I see a menu please?"
Waiter: "Excuse me, what is your room number?"
Or this one:
My wife: "Is there a special menu tonight?"
Waiter: "Excuse me, what is your room number?"
Me: "1301"
Waiter: "let me check." [Disappears and returns a little later] "No, tonight is only à la carte."
My wife: "Ah, so no menu tonight".
Waiter: "No, only à la carte. Or you can order a set menu."
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
Paying Bills
A much delayed blog post, but what do you want with this subject. Also, the picture is only tenuously related to bill payment (I think she is doing inventory, or maybe invoices:-) but this post needed some colour.
Paying bills involves - of course - motorcycles. Every month, men on motorcycles show up with the new telephone, electricity or TV bill. They hand it over, you give them the cash, they write a receipt, and that's that. If you happen to be away, you have to go pay in person at the utility company's offices.
I suspect that electronic transfers may not yet be totally feasible as an alternative to pay bills. First, you have to figure out the bank branch code for the payee's bank account, which of course is an unknown quantity to them or to their call centre. So you call your bank, who will then investigate and call you back an hour later. Then you set up the payee, and make the electronic transfer, listing your account details.
Sometimes that works.
I recently paid one bill in my wife's name. I made the payment from our joint bank account, listing her name in the message for the transfer. A few days later, they called my wife and informed her the payment had been returned, apparently because it came from me and not from her. After more quality time with call centres I have decided to go pay in person and in cash tomorrow. The company and industry in which it operates shall remain unnamed.
Paying bills involves - of course - motorcycles. Every month, men on motorcycles show up with the new telephone, electricity or TV bill. They hand it over, you give them the cash, they write a receipt, and that's that. If you happen to be away, you have to go pay in person at the utility company's offices.
I suspect that electronic transfers may not yet be totally feasible as an alternative to pay bills. First, you have to figure out the bank branch code for the payee's bank account, which of course is an unknown quantity to them or to their call centre. So you call your bank, who will then investigate and call you back an hour later. Then you set up the payee, and make the electronic transfer, listing your account details.
Sometimes that works.
I recently paid one bill in my wife's name. I made the payment from our joint bank account, listing her name in the message for the transfer. A few days later, they called my wife and informed her the payment had been returned, apparently because it came from me and not from her. After more quality time with call centres I have decided to go pay in person and in cash tomorrow. The company and industry in which it operates shall remain unnamed.
Tuesday, 5 April 2011
Deliveries
Now living in a much bigger place than our "cosy Victorian cottage" in London, we bought a desk, a sofa, and a bigger TV. I guess nobody reading this blog (or living in Vietnam) will be surprised at the mode of delivery.
Admitted, the motorcycle for the sofa was a three-wheeled pick-up contraption.
Admitted, the motorcycle for the sofa was a three-wheeled pick-up contraption.
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Craftsmanship
With a new house there are - of course - some things that need fixing. Such as a broken water heater in the kitchen. The process was a little more involved and more interesting than I expected.
Day 1, a technician diagnosed the problem: the on/off switch had burned out. (Interestingly, the wires were disconnected from the burned out switch and neatly capped off.)
Day 2, another technician confirmed the diagnosis, and took out the burned part of the switch.
Day 3, a third technician came to install the replacement part. He took the cover plate off, and then asked if he could use my sandals. I did a double take, and then realised that he was planning to install the switch on live wires with only the protection of the rubber soles of my sandals. He declined the offer to switch off power, and expertly installed the switch. Wearing my sandals. Impressive, and a little scary. Do not try this at home.
Monday, 21 March 2011
Moving
Our stuff finally arrived from London last week, and we have moved into our permanent place. Finally out of our hotel - sorry, serviced apartment.
OK, our move did not quite look like this. Though it was not quite what I was used to.
At previous moves, I have seen two Dutchmen, four Mexicans, three Polish-Australians, and four English show up. The same move packed by four English in two days was unloaded and unpacked in a little over two hours by ten Vietnamese.
Admitted, the unpacking did not result in a single sensibly ordered closet anywhere. But nothing broke, as far as we have seen, and nothing's missing.
OK, our move did not quite look like this. Though it was not quite what I was used to.
At previous moves, I have seen two Dutchmen, four Mexicans, three Polish-Australians, and four English show up. The same move packed by four English in two days was unloaded and unpacked in a little over two hours by ten Vietnamese.
Admitted, the unpacking did not result in a single sensibly ordered closet anywhere. But nothing broke, as far as we have seen, and nothing's missing.
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